I can’t remember a time in my life when I felt comfortable setting boundaries. There was a part of me that believed I was obligated to help anyone who asked me even if it was to my own detriment. I believed I was not worth more than the way I was treated. I believe I wasn’t good enough. I believed what I was told about myself.
Now I don’t.
So…what changed? I don’t think it was any one thing but a combination of things. Watching life intersect with death. Facing the fact that all the time we have is all the time we have. Sometimes the only way to make the best of this time is to set a boundary or three.
Boundaries tend to piss people off. Too bad. One of the good things about boundaries is they help you weed out who has your best interests at heart and who doesn’t.
The truth seems to piss people off too. If I have learned nothing else recently it’s that the truth really will set us free. Truth is liberating and boundaries assure that our liberation is not short lived.
We’ve heard it all before…”life is short!” “Live life to the fullest!” “You only live once!” There is truth in every one of these sayings. There’s another truth and that is we cannot live fully if we don’t set boundaries. Without boundaries too much crap can get in and stifle us. Life is not meant to be lived this way.
Setting boundaries is completely outside my comfort zone. It feels weird and awkward yet strangely right. I have 54 years behind me. It is unlikely that I have 54 years ahead of me. I want to make the most of whatever is left. Maybe this comfort zone hasn’t been so comforting after all.