They Want To Be Heard

8/06/2019 by Terri Onorato

About a month ago I met a young woman, early twenties I would guess, during an appointment. At first she was occupied with her work and didn’t have a lot to say.  At one point I saw her eyes fall on my tattoo. I felt a shift when she quietly asked me if I was interested in spirituality. When I told her yes she began to tell me about herself and her spiritual journey, a journey that is opening her up to a life other than the one she’s always known but also one where she is struggling to find support and answers.

I could feel where her heart was and how much she wanted to know more.  She asked me a lot of questions and absorbed what I told her.  She seemed relieved by the things I shared with her and appreciated that I listened and took her seriously.  It was a unique experience and we both agreed we were meant to meet that day.

I saw this same young lady again a few days ago.   About a month had gone by since our last encounter.  At first she was busy looking at a computer screen and didn’t realize who I was. I watched her for a few moments and saw recognition cross her face when she looked at my tattoo.  I had thought about her often in the month since I’d last seen her and we picked up our conversation as if no time had passed.  Even though we don’t know each other and are about as different as two people can be, our conversation was one of kindred souls, private and spiritual. I listened while she talked and she listened as I answered her questions.  Much like the first time we met, the words I spoke seemed to originate from somewhere outside of me as they often do during spiritual type conversations.  There was an urgency within me, an urgency that indicated to me that she needed to hear what I was saying.

We talked as much as we could in a short period of time and when we were finished she hugged me and said she was glad we’d seen each other again.  I came away from both these encounters knowing something special had happened and that it was by no means accidental that we crossed paths.

My time with her showed me how much young people want to be heard not only by their peers but the adults in their lives – even adults they don’t know but might inexplicably feel drawn to.  They don’t want their thoughts and feelings to be dismissed because they are young.  They don’t want to be blown off as if what they have to say is somehow less valid simply because they are considered not old enough to have such conversations.

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” ― Ralph G. Nichols

When we get the chance to really hear what young people have to say, we should do so.  It is an extraordinary opportunity.  There is so much we have to teach each other.  Just because we are older and have more life experience doesn’t mean we have all the answers, but we might have enough to help them.  In return, young people can teach us a great deal about life and how to look at it differently.

We have to take the time to listen, truly listen.  It is something young people are in dire need of especially as the world gets more confusing and messy.  It costs nothing to listen nor to share what we know and it can make all the difference in the world.

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