Sunday we decided to decorate for the holidays. Yes, we are one of those annoying families that put their decorations up before December can stick its foot in the door. Annoying is my middle name, just ask my husband.
Our holiday decorations are stored under the basement steps in an area that resembles a cave. The cave isn’t spacious by any means; it houses our well pump and is just big enough to store our Christmas goodies. Little did I know exactly how many boxes my husband could cram in there without busting a seam.
My husband assured me there weren’t that many boxes in the cave and began pulling them out and setting them in our already overcrowded basement.
As he emptied out the cave the boxes began to mount up, not only in quantity mind you but in size as well. We’re talking old desktop computer boxes; the ones that many moons ago were used to ship big ass PC towers and mammoth monitors. The basement began to take on the appearance of a cargo ship and before I knew it I was boxed in, cut off from any possible escape route that would get me away from this holiday hell.
I could tell that hubby’s enthusiasm was beginning to wane when he came in with yet another box and grumbled, “How the hell did we get so many boxes in one space?” We? I’m not the one who packed the damn cave so tight a freakin’ gnat couldn’t fly through without getting a head injury.
By the time the vast array of boxes were stacked in the basement shock had set in. How did two seemingly normal people (well, one normal and the other, not so much) accumulate so many holiday decorations? We must have hit some really kick ass after-Christmas sales in years past but damn if I remember.
Once the shock began to wear off and reality smacked me upside the head, I noticed that I had, in a moment of apparent intelligence, labeled all the boxes. Go me! My pat on the back suddenly turned to a kick in the ass when I realized that what was written on the boxes did not, in fact, match what was in the boxes.
I opened a box marked “tree ornaments” only to find Christmas stockings, knick knacks and a round disc that looked suspiciously like fruit cake. Apparently my labeling skills need some work.
It took awhile but finally the tree was up, the nativity set and lighted village were in place, the stair railing adorned with garland and lights and all the bells and whistles were ringing and singing. I was exhausted, hungry and cranky but satisfied with the results. It wasn’t until later that I felt the after affects of my accomplishments.
During my decorating frenzy I had spent a lot of time bending, lifting and kneeling. After sitting down for a bit I went to stand up and I swear I heard my legs scream. My knees cracked and my back cussed me out so proficiently it took my breath away.
I’m glad we did it though. Now we can sit back and enjoy the atmosphere of the holidays knowing our decorating is complete…on the inside that is.
Next on the agenda, spreading holiday cheer and good will with outdoor lights on the front of our home. Will this marriage survive?