Aging ain't for sissies. Neither is chronic pain.

Posts tagged ‘relationships’

For Better Or Worse

I often marvel at the way marriages and relationships come and go on the Hollywood circuit.  The other day I saw a story on TV about Charlie Sheen and his wife’s prenuptial agreement.  Apparently he paid his wife $500,000 as a sort of signing bonus when they got married.  He also reportedly agreed to give her $300,000 a year for each year they are married.  According to the entertainment news powers-that-be the Sheens have been advised by their lawyers to negotiate terms of a possible divorce now so that if their marriage fails everything will be in order.  Excuse me while I cough up a hair ball.

I realize not all marriages are happy ones but come on people.  If a person needs a signing bonus to get married along with a big ass lump sum of change each year they are married then something is not right in Whoville.

Dare I mention Tiger Woods and Jesse James?  These men need a clue-by-four upside their respective heads and a size ten permanently implanted in their posterior regions.  Let us not forget the likes of Larry King and Elizabeth Taylor.  Between the two of them they’ve been married something like 14 times.  That’s a lot of wedding cake.  And divorce papers.

Marriage, any relationship for that matter, is a job that takes hard work.  Change occurs constantly and people have to learn to adapt.  Sometimes the relationship works and other times it doesn’t.  I think most couples at least try to make things work before coming to the conclusion that it’s not going to fly.  In Hollywood it seems that marriage is a fair weather event that involves copious amounts of moola.  Seriously, if someone had to pay me to marry them (and stay married to them) then I’m not feeling the love.

Relationships take love, respect, empathy, cooperation and compromise to name a few.  When we first marry/get together everything our significant other does is cute and adorable.  “Ohhh look how he leaves a puddle of water on the floor outside the shower for me to slip on and bust my ass.  How sweet!”  But one day we wake up and find that the toilet paper holder has been left empty one too many times and the honeymoon is over.

My husband and I have been married for nearly 19 years.  We have struggled for many of those years and we made a lot of mistakes but we worked and worked and worked at it and we are now at a time in our lives where we enjoy each other more than ever.

We can’t just love a person; we have to like them as well.  We have to respect them as a human being and try to put ourselves in their shoes when things get wonky.  We can’t expect them to read our minds (I’m still working on this one.)  We have to find compromise on some issues and stand our ground on others.  It’s a balancing act to say the least and being the uncoordinated individual that I am, it’s not always easy.

One thing I’ve learned is that it can’t be my way or the highway otherwise I’ll be cruising down that highway on an empty tank of gas.  My marriage isn’t perfect.  Fred and I still spat around and get on each other’s nerves.  Sometimes it’s fun to annoy your significant other.  (Ask me how I know.)  I think we both found out we are stronger than we thought we were and that’s how we get through the hard times.

Hmph…my whole rant was supposed to be about fair weather relationships in Hollywood but I went off in another direction.  I go off in more directions at once than an ant on speed.  I’m not sure how Fred keeps up with me.  Maybe that’s part of what a relationship/marriage is all about —  keeping up with each other, working with change, showing a little love and not losing sight of what’s important.

What’s important to me right now is the hot fudge sundae from Dairy Queen I want my husband to bring me on his way home from work.  I didn’t tell him I want a sundae but he’s supposed to read my mind.



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