Our insurance coverage changed on February 1st and we were switched to a new mail order prescription company. I had a question, one simple question, so I called them. As is usually the case I called the wrong number and was transferred to the appropriate department. I was connected to a very nice man who, after one hour and 5 minutes, was not able to answer my question.
First I had to prove to him that I was who I said I was so I gave him all the pertinent information. After trying to pronounce my last name several times he asked me if he could call me by my first name. He then proceeded to explain to me in detail that my call was being monitored for quality assurance.
I tell him that I am only calling to find out what my new co-pay will be for my medication. At this point he began to give me the low down on how to transfer an existing prescription to their company. I could not, for the life of me, understand exactly what was required of me. He had a hard time explaining it and I had a harder time understanding it. Eventually we worked past our obvious inability to communicate properly and forged ahead.
Next he needed some information in order to put me “in the system.” One of the questions to me was regarding any allergies I might have. I told him I am only allergic to one thing…bees. “You’re allergic to bees? What kind of bees?” “Well,” I said, “the buzzing kind.” Light bulb moment…“Oh I see, bees! The insect.”
I remind him I am only looking to find out what my co-pay will be under the new prescription plan. It quickly became obvious that it just wasn’t going to be that easy.
We went through a litany of questions about my medications, medical conditions etc. (Unfortunately his computer was running like sludge and only added to our lengthy question and answer session.) Suddenly we were back to the bees. “Do I have your permission to add your allergies to bees on your file?” he asked. I told him that was fine with me. He explains that he wouldn’t want the pharmacy to send me anything with bee venom in it so it needs to be on file that I am indeed allergic to bees. Yikes.
Like I said his computer is running slow and in an apparent need to fill the silence he asked me if I was going to watch the Super Bowl. I said yes. He says, “Who are you rooting for?” I tell him. Silence. I then wonder where he is located (New Orleans, Indianapolis?) and think I may have insulted him.
I tell him again that I am only looking to get information on how much my co-pay will be with our new prescription plan. He then says he would like to add all my husband’s info so it will already be “in the system” when Fred needs new scripts filled. ::sigh:: I agree and am interrogated once more.
Just to be sure the point of my call was not lost on my new friend, I tell him that I’m only trying to find out what my co-pay will be under the new prescription plan. I can hear him typing something and then again asks, “Will you be watching the Super Bowl?” I said yes and asked him if he’ll be doing the same. He replies, “Yes, but I don’t know who’s playing.” Okaaaay.
Finally…finally, finally, finally we are finished. He has repeated all information back to me for a third time and asks me if there is anything else he can do for me. I tell him I need information on what my co-pay will be. He says, “Oh, I can’t do that. I’ll have to transfer you to the pharmacy department.” Huh? Then why did we just go through all this if you can’t give me any information? He patiently explains that he needed to put me “in the system.” Seems to me he should have just put me in an institution.
He transfers me; I talk to the pharmacist and get the answer I need in about 60 seconds. Another hour of my life has passed me by but I’ll get over it. About 20 minutes after I hang up, the phone rings. It’s the guy from the prescription mail order company. He wants to verify all my information again. The problem is I have to prove to him that I am the person he called so he can verify everything I already told him. I am so not amused but manage to hide my aggravation and finish the call.
By now I am tired, irritated and cranky but I know what my co-pay is. I wonder if my new friend will call and ask me who won the Super Bowl?